Friday, 27 April 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Came back to uni early, because I couldn't really handle being back at home. My family are all hardworking, unhappy and stressed. Overdrinking, overworking, and undersleeping. I'm pretty sure they don't even enjoy life. I would hate to become like that. Pitiful. I hate being around them so I came back home (uni home) asap.
Now I'm in a bad mood, but at least I'm by myself. Casually jamming some house music, not working on my essay...
Now I'm in a bad mood, but at least I'm by myself. Casually jamming some house music, not working on my essay...
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Friday, 6 April 2012
Tripping Balss
The library I needed to use to do my work closes over Easter since yesterday. Work plan ruined. Since there was no point staying at Uni, I travelled home today.
I also set some time aside to write about my trip. It was a pretty crazy intense trip, and quite profound for me. I did some sketches of the trip a while back (in fact, tripping Salvia made me decide to start drawing -- okay, doodling -- again) but I lost them. So now I wrote it down. I don't want to forget what happened. That shit cray.
About this time last year, I was with some friends from Uni taking breakthrough trips, doing it in turns so that nobody knocked their head or did anything stupid. It was funny watching people flop around on the floor and not making sense. But then it was my turn. I didn't really know what to expect because I wasn't into psychedelics back then. I just jumped in. I guess I'm quite lucky to have had such a good trip despite not knowing what was going to happen.
So I was sitting on a bed and my friend was telling us what happened in his own trip, when a breeze blew in through the open window. It blew me into another universe. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, because universe 2 was exactly the same as universe 1 (our universe), apart from being a fraction of time in front and 'clockwise'. If you imagine time as a spirograph clock, each fraction of time is a segment on the clock. The segment immediately clockwise to our universe was another dimension. Universe 2, if you like. I knew what was about to happen in universe 1 from my existence in universe 2, but because it was only a fraction ahead I didn't have enough time to say "I knew that was going to happen". It amused me I suppose. It also opened me to the idea of multiverse, which dominated the trip. I also at some point realised that the reason I had gone clockwise was because the breeze was coming in from my left. I imagined that if I had been sitting on the other side of the window I would have 'tripped' the other direction. 'Tripping' is a good term, because each time I opened another universe, I had that feeling of weightlessness and confusion you get when you trip on something. Like I was 'tripping' over the lines that separate the different dimensions.
The breeze blew in again and I was knocked very suddenly into universe 3. The best way I can think of explaining this is if you have played Psychonauts. In that game there is a level inside the mind of Fred Bonaparte. In Fred's mind, the board game Fred is playing with Napoleon 'forms' the level, but it is also a part of it. You can look into the board game from the top, or you can look out from the board to see enormous fred and napoleon playing. To add to the mindfuck, the room also exists in the board game. In the same way, the folded legs of one of my friends 'formed' a bowl shape, in which the third universe existed. Weirdly, I could be in universe 1, looking in on Universe 3 and wondering how it could be, and simultaneously in Universe 3, looking up at my gigantic self peering in.
In universe 3 I was walking up a dirt path through a strange sort of emerald forest. It had a very colourful quality, full of sparkling, intense emerald greens, blacks, reds and golds. There were willow trees, long grass, a stream and a hut which looked a lot like the seven dwarves' hut in snow white with a water wheel. It was a strange sort of forest created, I imagine, from subconscious memories of the Smurfs, Disney films, and other childhood cartoons. It was inhabited by many dwarves, cats, medieval beings, creatures and anthropormorphic trees. I didn't speak to any of the inhabitants because my friend's legs formed a clearing in the forest a few hundred meters wide, through which I could observe that universe. Universe 1 me could see that at the end of the hill path stood a majestic oak which I knew I had to walk towards. I ignored the other creatures and walked up towards the tree. It was a beautiful Oak tree very very similar in size and shape to the Deku tree in Zelda. It's bark was covered with aztec fractals and its foliage was the thickest and greenest I have ever seen. My arrival roused it from its sleep. He communicated with me through a sort of shamanistic hum.
For a fraction of an instant I was thrown back into Universe 1. I realised that I had just walked out of her lap (the forest) and was standing on her breasts (the hill), with the path being formed by her cleavage and things of interest were just folds in her clothes. The Oak tree's face was formed my friend's face. I still swear to this day that in that instant she (both as herself and as a gigantic aztec tree) winked knowingly at me. The wind blew in again, this time colder and fiercer than before.
My friends must have yawned, because the Psychedelic Oak tree opened its gaping mouth and sucked me in. It felt like star wars hyperspeed. Then stillness. I was inside the tree's belly. Deepest space. I was in a space suit, slowly wheeling around space in the foetal position. I had binoculars on me, which I used to observe the stars and planets. I can't remember the details, but there were hundreds of thousands of them, and they were all vividly detailed. Some even had indigenous species! I could only watch them with my binoculars as I floated on my predestined path, but I did not become bored or tired or old. Back in our univetse, I remember I turned to look out of the window up at the stars. Although I could not see myself, I imagined myself up there among the stars.
At some point, I realised that my trajectory was heading towards a burning hot sun. With no way of changing course I started to panic. I was going to die. I started to think about all the things I did wrong and why I did them. Every insecurity and anxiety came to torment me. Then a girl I had a thing with a couple of months before (things didn't work out) appeared. She walked next to me for a while. At first I felt stupid for being in such a state. Then we talked for a while. It was nice. I told her that letting her go was the most awful thing about my life. She stopped and held me by the hand, and told me that it was only the second worst thing that would happen in my life. Close to tears and close to death I waved goodbye and floated on.
As I approached the sun, I saw that it was actually a planet. It looked like something from out of a science fiction book. It was hot, barren, dark and terrifying. It had many craters and many shadows, and it was frightening. As I drew closer I felt like I was about to have the worst thing about my life revealed to me. I floated down towards the surface, where I saw a bright glowing light. But it wasn't the worst thing ever. It was my friend, who had just tripped, telling everyone about his own trip. I remember it was hysterically funny at the time... something about antelopes on a schoolbus. I floated gently down and took my place back on the bed. Almost unnoticeably, my bodies from the different universes converged back into one. The strange planet's surface was just a room.
Then the wind blew one final time. This time I was propelled backwards, actually into the window. Inside the two panes that made up the double glazing. This last part happened in such a flash that I'm not sure what I made up and what actually happened. Here is what I think happened. I was standing inside a cave behind three witches (very similar to those in Hercules), who were huddled around a chalkboard. I walked up behind them and peered at what was on the chalkboard. It was a sort of primitive cave painting of everything that had happened. At the center was the window. There were curved lines coming off it, pointing to symbols depicting each of the dimensions I had visited. It was at this point that I realised that everything was happening concurrently. The spirograph clock was seperating each universe, but holding and linking them all together. There were infinite more possible universes that I hadn't explored. Then, in a way that I cannot describe, I was the window. At that point I stopped tripping.
I never really shared what happened to me with anyone. It was too intense and it sound unbelievable. I don't think any of it was real. I just have a wild imagination and a succeptibility to psychedelics. But since the whole experience was very personal and makes me sound like a lunatic when I retell it, I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't think anyone would be interested. So in the end I shrugged it off and said it was inception-ey. But, yeah... that shit cray.
I also set some time aside to write about my trip. It was a pretty crazy intense trip, and quite profound for me. I did some sketches of the trip a while back (in fact, tripping Salvia made me decide to start drawing -- okay, doodling -- again) but I lost them. So now I wrote it down. I don't want to forget what happened. That shit cray.
About this time last year, I was with some friends from Uni taking breakthrough trips, doing it in turns so that nobody knocked their head or did anything stupid. It was funny watching people flop around on the floor and not making sense. But then it was my turn. I didn't really know what to expect because I wasn't into psychedelics back then. I just jumped in. I guess I'm quite lucky to have had such a good trip despite not knowing what was going to happen.
So I was sitting on a bed and my friend was telling us what happened in his own trip, when a breeze blew in through the open window. It blew me into another universe. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, because universe 2 was exactly the same as universe 1 (our universe), apart from being a fraction of time in front and 'clockwise'. If you imagine time as a spirograph clock, each fraction of time is a segment on the clock. The segment immediately clockwise to our universe was another dimension. Universe 2, if you like. I knew what was about to happen in universe 1 from my existence in universe 2, but because it was only a fraction ahead I didn't have enough time to say "I knew that was going to happen". It amused me I suppose. It also opened me to the idea of multiverse, which dominated the trip. I also at some point realised that the reason I had gone clockwise was because the breeze was coming in from my left. I imagined that if I had been sitting on the other side of the window I would have 'tripped' the other direction. 'Tripping' is a good term, because each time I opened another universe, I had that feeling of weightlessness and confusion you get when you trip on something. Like I was 'tripping' over the lines that separate the different dimensions.
The breeze blew in again and I was knocked very suddenly into universe 3. The best way I can think of explaining this is if you have played Psychonauts. In that game there is a level inside the mind of Fred Bonaparte. In Fred's mind, the board game Fred is playing with Napoleon 'forms' the level, but it is also a part of it. You can look into the board game from the top, or you can look out from the board to see enormous fred and napoleon playing. To add to the mindfuck, the room also exists in the board game. In the same way, the folded legs of one of my friends 'formed' a bowl shape, in which the third universe existed. Weirdly, I could be in universe 1, looking in on Universe 3 and wondering how it could be, and simultaneously in Universe 3, looking up at my gigantic self peering in.
In universe 3 I was walking up a dirt path through a strange sort of emerald forest. It had a very colourful quality, full of sparkling, intense emerald greens, blacks, reds and golds. There were willow trees, long grass, a stream and a hut which looked a lot like the seven dwarves' hut in snow white with a water wheel. It was a strange sort of forest created, I imagine, from subconscious memories of the Smurfs, Disney films, and other childhood cartoons. It was inhabited by many dwarves, cats, medieval beings, creatures and anthropormorphic trees. I didn't speak to any of the inhabitants because my friend's legs formed a clearing in the forest a few hundred meters wide, through which I could observe that universe. Universe 1 me could see that at the end of the hill path stood a majestic oak which I knew I had to walk towards. I ignored the other creatures and walked up towards the tree. It was a beautiful Oak tree very very similar in size and shape to the Deku tree in Zelda. It's bark was covered with aztec fractals and its foliage was the thickest and greenest I have ever seen. My arrival roused it from its sleep. He communicated with me through a sort of shamanistic hum.
For a fraction of an instant I was thrown back into Universe 1. I realised that I had just walked out of her lap (the forest) and was standing on her breasts (the hill), with the path being formed by her cleavage and things of interest were just folds in her clothes. The Oak tree's face was formed my friend's face. I still swear to this day that in that instant she (both as herself and as a gigantic aztec tree) winked knowingly at me. The wind blew in again, this time colder and fiercer than before.
My friends must have yawned, because the Psychedelic Oak tree opened its gaping mouth and sucked me in. It felt like star wars hyperspeed. Then stillness. I was inside the tree's belly. Deepest space. I was in a space suit, slowly wheeling around space in the foetal position. I had binoculars on me, which I used to observe the stars and planets. I can't remember the details, but there were hundreds of thousands of them, and they were all vividly detailed. Some even had indigenous species! I could only watch them with my binoculars as I floated on my predestined path, but I did not become bored or tired or old. Back in our univetse, I remember I turned to look out of the window up at the stars. Although I could not see myself, I imagined myself up there among the stars.
At some point, I realised that my trajectory was heading towards a burning hot sun. With no way of changing course I started to panic. I was going to die. I started to think about all the things I did wrong and why I did them. Every insecurity and anxiety came to torment me. Then a girl I had a thing with a couple of months before (things didn't work out) appeared. She walked next to me for a while. At first I felt stupid for being in such a state. Then we talked for a while. It was nice. I told her that letting her go was the most awful thing about my life. She stopped and held me by the hand, and told me that it was only the second worst thing that would happen in my life. Close to tears and close to death I waved goodbye and floated on.
As I approached the sun, I saw that it was actually a planet. It looked like something from out of a science fiction book. It was hot, barren, dark and terrifying. It had many craters and many shadows, and it was frightening. As I drew closer I felt like I was about to have the worst thing about my life revealed to me. I floated down towards the surface, where I saw a bright glowing light. But it wasn't the worst thing ever. It was my friend, who had just tripped, telling everyone about his own trip. I remember it was hysterically funny at the time... something about antelopes on a schoolbus. I floated gently down and took my place back on the bed. Almost unnoticeably, my bodies from the different universes converged back into one. The strange planet's surface was just a room.
Then the wind blew one final time. This time I was propelled backwards, actually into the window. Inside the two panes that made up the double glazing. This last part happened in such a flash that I'm not sure what I made up and what actually happened. Here is what I think happened. I was standing inside a cave behind three witches (very similar to those in Hercules), who were huddled around a chalkboard. I walked up behind them and peered at what was on the chalkboard. It was a sort of primitive cave painting of everything that had happened. At the center was the window. There were curved lines coming off it, pointing to symbols depicting each of the dimensions I had visited. It was at this point that I realised that everything was happening concurrently. The spirograph clock was seperating each universe, but holding and linking them all together. There were infinite more possible universes that I hadn't explored. Then, in a way that I cannot describe, I was the window. At that point I stopped tripping.
I never really shared what happened to me with anyone. It was too intense and it sound unbelievable. I don't think any of it was real. I just have a wild imagination and a succeptibility to psychedelics. But since the whole experience was very personal and makes me sound like a lunatic when I retell it, I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't think anyone would be interested. So in the end I shrugged it off and said it was inception-ey. But, yeah... that shit cray.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
The 800m race I did on Sunday was a mixed bag. My time was slow (just under 2:20), and I was near the back (I think third or fourth from last... I didn't wait around for the results). I had injured calves and I didn't feel too great because I hadn't recovered well from getting fucked up a couple of days before. I need to stop drinking, smoking, and taking drugs really. Or at least cut down.
But stillI was quite pleased because I maintained a smooth and relaxed running style and didn't lose my composure during the race. I didn't even have time to break a sweat! Also, I sprinted down some old dude down the final straight which gave a boost to my ego :) I think with some proper consistent training and no injury... and less substance abuse... I can run under 2:10 this summer. Don't know about breaking 2:00 though,, that might have to wait until next year.
Speaking of getting fucked up, I found a source for Shrooms! Woop woop! Also, maybe tomorow, I will post my Salvia trip. I tripped Salvia a while ago and it was intense as fuck. I did some drawings immediately after, depicting the trip, but I really been meaning to get it written down so that I don't forget what happened. That shit cray.
The last thing thats been on my mind this week has been work. I decided to stay at Uni for the first week of Easter, so that I have a week by myself to do as much of my project as possible. So far ive just been procrastinating. BUt tomorrow Imma do a full 8 hour day of work with no distractions! Should be good.
But stillI was quite pleased because I maintained a smooth and relaxed running style and didn't lose my composure during the race. I didn't even have time to break a sweat! Also, I sprinted down some old dude down the final straight which gave a boost to my ego :) I think with some proper consistent training and no injury... and less substance abuse... I can run under 2:10 this summer. Don't know about breaking 2:00 though,, that might have to wait until next year.
Speaking of getting fucked up, I found a source for Shrooms! Woop woop! Also, maybe tomorow, I will post my Salvia trip. I tripped Salvia a while ago and it was intense as fuck. I did some drawings immediately after, depicting the trip, but I really been meaning to get it written down so that I don't forget what happened. That shit cray.
The last thing thats been on my mind this week has been work. I decided to stay at Uni for the first week of Easter, so that I have a week by myself to do as much of my project as possible. So far ive just been procrastinating. BUt tomorrow Imma do a full 8 hour day of work with no distractions! Should be good.
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