Dream

I've recently been trying to write down some of my dreams. This involves scrawling random words on the back of hands, envelopes, desks,etc. in the early morning, while you are still in the half-asleep-half-awake stage. Last night I had a crazy dream. So, before I forget about it, here it is.

I was taking the first class of a photography module. Although I think it was actually a sixth-form class, because there were thirty-odd people in the class. For some reason, the teacher (female) left, and we started fucking around with the equipment, taking pictures, photoshopping, printing, and so on. I don't know who did it or how, but someone broke one of the expensive SLRs. We decided to write a letter to say that it was malfunctioning to get a replacement. We wrote the letter, but for it to work we needed a stamped sealed envelope. We didn't have the stamp, but we found another envelope that had been opened with the seal on it. One of my friends in the class started copying the seal onto our envelope with ink. I suggested we should use our new photography skills to photoshop a new stamp. We did. The teacher came back and everything was fine.

This must have been a boarding school, because after class we were sent to bed in a dormitory in a wing of the school. The dormitory was huge. There were thousands of multidecked bunk beds. I found my bed in the middle somewhere, and as I lay down I saw goblins on rollerskates handing out pieces of root bark. I took one and ate it. After this point, I don't know if I was having a seperate dream, or perhaps the root bark induced a dream-within-a-dream.

I woke up on a beach. My friend who I had helped with the sealed envelope was there, telling me to follow him up the cliffside. He said we were going to Sainsbury's. When we got to the top, I realised that Sainsbury's was the codename for the compound on top of the cliff on the Island we were on. In the middle of the compound, thousands of people in scuba diving gear were gathered, listening to the leader give a speech. Apparently, we were a few miles from the coast of Chile. Noel Edmonds was the tyrant king of Chile now, having taken over from Pinochet. Apparently we were attacking his compound later today today.

It must have been in the evening or the early morning because the sky was bright pink. Thousands of special forces scuba divers were lined up on the cliff. We jumped into the sea and started swimming the mile or so it was to the coast.

Only a few hundred meters away from Edmonds' compound, there was a commotion. The word came that our covert mission had been compromised. From all sides, Noel Edmonds' squadron of Orcas attacked us. Some of us tried to fight back with harpoon guns, but it was useless. We swam as fast as we could towards the compound while all around us scubamen were being picked off by giant killer whales. We made it, but with heavy casualties. With what was left of the scubamen, we battled our way across the compound to Noel Edmonds' command centre.

We kicked open the door to Edmonds' room, to find... a real estate agent, showing us around a house. I say house, it was more of a mansion. It had eight floors, underfloor heating, a giant living room with a beer fridge (where the remaining scubamen made themselves at home), a swimming pool, bridges, staircases. It was very Escher-esque. We walked out of the house (leaving our scuba-friends behind) and discussed what we thought of it. My housemates said they liked it, but that £77 per person per month was too much for them. We visited a few more houses and settled for normal student accomodation. I remember I was quite annoyed about that. Then I woke up.